Oreoluwa Ojo

By Wisdom Olobayo

She sat up on the east side of her bed just beside her drawer, obviously still sleepy, having been woken from her sleep by a sharp pain she felt in her abdomen. She was staring at the life-size mirror bathed in sunlight directly opposite her, an installation she had done as a gift to herself when she clocked 16. Now she was 17 years and five months old but she last saw her period 4 months ago. Something her parents must never know about or they would forcefully make her see a doctor. And she was fine. She did remind herself of that every day. 

Tilting her head she combed her browning wooly hair on one side with four fingers which revealed a thin line that was formerly a skin fold on her neck. Alarmed, she attempted to stand up and properly check the mirror but a sudden dizziness overcame her, causing her to stagger. Reflexively, she grasped for something to hold on to. In doing this, she smacked three “fashion & lifestyle” magazines that were placed on the top of her drawer down to the floor. 

Pictures of top models from every inhabited continent on the planet were plastered on each of the pages of all three magazines, as were on all available spaces on the walls of her room. Girls and women with very trim waists, hands, and legs were smiling on each of them. Some wore scanty beach clothes that she wouldn’t dare buy whilst under her parents’ roof, others wore “statement” outfits that set the fashion trend for the next few months. The common factor from the pictures was that they all—all of those women, were skinny and looked very happy. And she knew she could become that; the very finest black model in a few years.

She had to fight a portentous nervousness everyday walking to school. Mimicking the typical “school girl” fashion icons on her mags, pulling each of her bag’s shoulder straps away from under her armpits with a thumb on each side, wearing her white socks midway down her legs, on her shin, with the school’s logo on them having a little makeover from the black coloured threads they used to be, daintily stomping her school shoes on the ground as she walked, she worried about the stares she got from passersby. She scoured as many faces as she could of these random strangers that passed by her, trying to decipher which one had eyes trained on her body with disgust written on their face. They were all probably hiding their judgemental opinions about her being overweight as polite humans normally do, she thought. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to concentrate her kinesthetic senses on any part of her body that was jiggling with fat. She practically skipped breakfast that morning, eating just a single carrot from her plate.

*This is a case of Anorexia Nervosa

Approximately 70 million people worldwide currently live with at least one form of eating disorder with two-thirds being female (National Eating Disorders Association)

Lifetime prevalence of Anorexia Nervosa is three times higher among females (0.9%) than among males (0.3%) (National Institute of Mental Health)

1 in 5 women struggle with an eating disorder. (National Institute of Mental Health’s guide)

81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat. 51% of 9 and 10-year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet (Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 1992)

By Victoria Akingbemila

Misogyny is usually defined as hatred or prejudice against women. However, I believe to a large extent, misogyny qualifies as a dislike or hatred of certain behaviors that misogynists deem unsuitable for women. This may include ambition, power, independence, and self-prioritization. Misogynists are the textbook, head of the house. The ones who believe that the man provides, and the woman stays home to cook and clean. The one who believes that the woman should be seen and not heard, because the man should be the voice of the woman. A belief in superiority over women. 

Naturally, where one believes that you are inferior to them, they put in place measures to ensure you know your place and that you stay there. This is the birth of misogynistic violence. 

Philosopher Kate Manne defines misogyny as “an attempt to control and punish women, who challenge male dominance”. 

Misogyny is exemplified in various ways. Domestic violence, sexual harassment, online harassment, and femicide, which is sometimes perpetuated by incel movements. Misogyny seeks to punish ‘bad women’, that is women who are strong-willed, opinionated, ambitious, powerful, or challenge gender-imposed stereotypes. 

Misogyny perpetuates the Madonna-whore dichotomy, where women are either perceived as good and pure or as bad and promiscuous. This dichotomy justifies the actions of men who punish the bad women, as it paints them as deserving of it. Chimamanda pointed out that when women complain of being harassed or assaulted, they are usually only described as not deserving of it if they are ‘good’ women – nonsexual and powerless. It disregards the multi-faceted nature of human beings and boxes women into just two columns. You are not allowed to be both.  

My favorite quote has to be “Not sluts, nor saints. Just women”. 

World Health Organization and the United Nations identified that almost one in three women have been subjected to sexual or intimate partner violence, at least once in their life. Globally, it is an estimated 736 million women. This number is not unfounded, as we see this violence play out, especially in the Nigerian relationship scene. Violence against women is usually chalked up to the man exerting his control and ownership over the woman. The woman is painted as ‘bad’, either because she refuses that control, or exhibits male-like characteristics. 

In recent times, women have become bolder in confronting misogynistic violence. By reading, exposure to the thoughts of other women both offline and online and education, women have learned to own their self-actualization and they are more prone to speak up against violence of any sort. Their ability to speak up and fight back has emboldened other women and built a sense of camaraderie between women. The understanding that this is a universal problem for women and the resolve to fight to see its end. 

Women have undertaken the high road of climbing political ladders, sponsoring bills, and demanding accountability from their government where necessary, to end the misogynistic violence against women. Some have taken the alleged low road of protests, social media rage, outright shunning, and naming and shaming. Both roads have proven to work.

This counterattack by women has obviously not gone unnoticed. Women, feminists in most instances, who champion this cause are usually labeled ‘Misandrists’.  A misandrist is a woman who hates men. The men who try to equate misandry to misogyny, fail to realize that, unlike misogyny, misandry is not an institutionalized form of oppression against women and misandry has certainly not claimed the lives of men. The misandrist clamor is usually from men whose feelings have been hurt because of the direct call-out of their misogynistic actions and the peculiar naming and shaming. 

As a response to this counterattack by women, men have threatened violence against the said women. They have threatened corrective rape to put the woman in her place. They have harassed women online, releasing confidential information about their location and personal life, in a bid to invite violence to be meted out against them. They have also threatened loneliness against them, dooming them to a life without companionship. Laughable. Many of these men have shared what they would do to their wives, should they exhibit such behaviors that are unbecoming of a ‘good woman’. Planning against a spouse they haven’t even met yet. 

The purpose of this article is not to establish a case of men against women. Especially since there are women with internalized misogyny, who go against other women to enforce this repressive culture. However, to solve a problem, we must identify the root cause of the problem and the perpetrators of such. 

This is very important because when women point out instances of misogynistic violence, they are usually dismissed or referred to as man-hating. This dismissal has further perpetuated the violence against them, as it emboldens the men to continue, without fear of consequences. They dismiss it as “that time of the month”, to diminish the gravity of the problem. Hence, the term “Ovary-acting”. 

Well, enough is enough. Over the years, women have been told that their response to misogyny was not the “right response”. Many probably expect a response that decenters men or does not hurt the feelings of men. However, women have died because of misogyny. Women have lost their source of livelihood because of misogyny. Women have lost their sense of self and esteem because of misogyny. Besides, I have not seen a time in my life where the oppressors ever agreed that the defense of their victims against them was the “right response”. Women have understood that to retrieve power, you must be comfortable with being wrong in the eyes of your oppressor. If we didn’t accept being wrong, I probably would not have gotten the formal education that enabled me to write this article. 

So, ahead ahead…

By Ibukun Busari

Nigeria has the largest population in Africa with over 200 million citizens, and according to the Nigeria Population Commission, the current male population is 50.6% while the current female population is 49.4%. The population gap between males and females is less than 2% which signifies that we have more than enough women who can contest for several positions in any election. 

This article highlights five (5) women who are contesting or aspiring for several positions in the upcoming general elections in Nigeria;

Khadijah Okunnu-Lamidi: She is a Media Entrepreneur, youth development advocate, and CEO of Slice Media and Charity Champion – WaterAidNG according to Wikipedia. She was the first woman to declare her interest in the 2023 presidential election. She revealed at a media conference held in Lagos that her motivation for vying for the position stems from her desire to restore hope and make Nigeria work for all Nigerians. She is contesting under the Social Democratic Party (SDP).

Ruby Isaac Chinenye: Ruby Isaac Chinenye is an Amazon, Entrepreneur and Finance Manager. She’s currently the Managing Director of RUBYCOM MPCS LTD, a multipurpose organization that deals with real estate management and development, investment and finance management, and multimedia. She is campaigning to take over from President Buhari under the Young Progressive Party (YPP). She believes Nigeria needs a pragmatic, focused, dynamic, and responsible Nigerian who will take the bull by the horn and lead the “Giant of Africa” to take its place among the community of nations and begin to fulfill its potential. 

Aishatu Dahiru: Senator Aishatu Dahiru popularly known as Binani represents Adamawa Central in the Senate according to the Punch Newspaper. She emerged as the governorship candidate of the All Progressive Congress (APC) in Adamawa State after defeating five (5) male aspirants including a former governor of the state. Her priority is to focus on challenging areas in the state such as human capacity development as well as productive sectors. She says she will prioritize harnessing the agricultural potential of the state. She will also focus on the social sector and address poverty and inequality. Women and children are top priorities.

Simi Olusola: According to the Acumen Website, Ms. Olusola is the Executive Director of Aspilos Foundation, an organization working to reduce poverty and inequality in Nigeria by ensuring economic empowerment for individuals and good governance in the society. She is also the Strategic Advisor for TechHer NG, a fellow of the African Women Entrepreneurship Cooperative, and a LEAP Africa Social Innovators Program Fellow. She won her party’s primary election, thereby making her the People’s Democratic Party candidate to represent Ikare II in the Ekiti State House of Assembly. 

Ngozi Clara Opara: Ngozi Opara is an English graduate, a web media personality, and a former councilor of Obi-Mbieri ISIEC ward in Mbaitoli Local Government Area in Imo State. She is contesting under the All Progressive Grand Alliance Party (APGA) to represent Mbaitoli Constituency in the Imo State House of Assembly. She joined this race because she believes her people deserve better. She wants her people to experience competent and people-oriented representation and sustainable Youth/Women Empowerment Legislation. She believes good governance in Nigeria can be achieved.

By Ewaoluwa Adekanye

This title: “Woman”, is a tough one. When anyone is asked who a woman is, the typical picture that comes to mind is a female with normal body features but with tags.  By tags I mean labels and stereotypes; a female carrying a baby or a female standing in the kitchen with her apron on and a spoon in her hand. This title, ‘woman’ is objectified for what it can give as per the culture and norms we are used to.

A woman is more than the usual picture we are used to painting; she is the power and strength behind every successful thing, entity, community. She is an organiser, nurturer and a wealth of wisdom to be tapped from. Though she gives this wisdom freely, she is not always given the opportunity to implement them, instead the usual ‘you belong in the background’ statement is brought to play. 

Why can’t a woman, as the fount of wisdom and bank of ideas execute these ideas she so beautifully puts forth? Why are we more focused on what she can do and give and still deny her rights and benefits of being a member of the society? Why is the reward of a woman only the joy of untiring children and producing leaders of tomorrow? 

She is expected not to speak up when she is hurt or uncomfortable about anything, her grace of tolerance has to be exploited to the last minute till she is unable to bear it. She speaks out and the world thinks she has lost her supposed grace, they say she is being and talks too much. 

This think-tank called Woman shouldn’t have to fight for a spot at work just to prove herself despite everyone knowing how much she is worth. We relegate women simply because they are women. We only remember them when we require urgent solutions to domestic issues. We applaud her ability to cook, clean, care for the children, please her husband while still excelling at her chosen career. We bully her, accuse her of being uncaring because she doesn’t bend to our will and called selfish and unfeeling when she shares her grand dreams. 

She is a woman; unique in her thoughts, composition, features, strength and power. She is an original who wants to be recognised as a woman and not by the societal limitations of the title which strips women of their real power and beauty. This, in my opinion, is not too much to ask for. 

By Wisdom Olobayo

“Ever since I was a child when I saw a woman in need of help I tried to help her – like helping them to carry their loads or buying them something – and that’s why I wanted to be the female leader of our party.”

Let’s keep Ameer Sarkee’s statement aside first, why is there a “Women’s Wing” in politics?

Well, let me answer my own question. Women had fought (and are still fighting) tough for years to be treated as persons equal to men in every context that concerns human dignity, respect and status. So, inclusion became the solution. But it’s a lie; this version of “inclusion” is a hoax. At least, it mostly is.

Do you understand the picture where your parents are counting “big” money and you are crying and whining because they won’t let you join them, and then to make you stop crying and go away they give you a few currency notes of the least value? That! That’s the picture of inclusion!

“Only seven out of 109 senators and 22 of the 360 House of Representatives members in Nigeria are women. And only four out of 36 deputy governors currently are women” – Damilola Agbalajobi, 2021.

To add to this, the country has never had a female governor. So, what in fact, has been the contribution of the women’s political wing to the country at large?

“Maybe if we can sort them out with a little position, a little power, a little kingdom of their own, they’ll calm down”. Sounds like what has been speaking for decades. The creation of a women’s wing in politics probably started with the idea of representation, so that the voices of women could finally be heard. But what exactly is representation? Having a say but never ever having the opportunity to have the day? The idea of representation itself sets off an alarm that yells “minority!”.

And is that it? That society still subtly maintains that women are just not born to be leaders? That at the end of the day, women will never have rightful access to the the same rights, opportunities and social status as men?

The segregation we fight against shows for itself when there is a dichotomy not between men and women in a party i.e men’s wing and women’s wing, but between “regular party people who actually call the shots and make decisions” and the “women’s wing” that runs itself for itself. Women governing just women is not the peak concept feminism seeks to establish. What feminism seeks to make obtainable is that women are people, and are capable of governing everyone.

If we are still fighting to see egalitarianism as the norm in the layman’s society, how about in the so-called democratic space? Should it be a war there too? Maybe scrap the “women’s wing” in political parties, and let’s expose where the problem comes from. Expose the fact that equality is still a strange idea to the people we petition for change as Ameer Sarkee, a 27 year-old Honourable member of the APC, expresses below:

“Some people ask me why I am running for the post and my answer is that God created men to guide the affairs of women so it is not a bad thing for me to want to lead women especially given that I mean well for them.”

By Victoria Akingbemila

“The easiest way to preserve a toxic norm is by turning a blind eye to its existence while hoping it fades away someday. Sadly, hope is not a strategy.”

Popular mythology has it that in 1184 B.C., the Greeks crafted a sinister plan to take down the city of Troy, using a Trojan Horse. The horse, camouflaged as a gift indicating surrender, housed some of the most skilled Greek soldiers. Upon acceptance and introduction to Troy, these soldiers broke out of the horse and laid waste to the people of Troy. Greece won the war. Today, the Trojan Horse gift is a cautionary tale, referring to something that looks good on the outside, but conceals the true intention or purpose, which most times, is evil.

In today’s article, the men that champion October/Freshers rush, are the Trojan Horse.

The University environment is often touted as a different world that tests the tenacity and will of even the most dogged. When a student, especially females, gets admitted into higher institutions at very young ages, it raises the question of ‘Survival’ in a world that ought to be a seemingly safe space, primarily for knowledge acquisition. The question of survival is often not predicated on the inability of the students to thrive intellectually, but on navigating the murky waters of some deep-rooted cultural inherencies that have been preserved within our higher institutions. This is the story of the October Rush, a culture that has always existed but never been addressed or even viewed as a problem.

For most universities, new students are taken in by September and are expected to finalize admission processes and resume classes by October, hence the Culture has been christened October Rush, at least in most universities. While the month of admission, or resumption might vary, one thing that remains constant is the existence of the perverse culture within the higher institution environment. The underlying principle of this Culture is older male students ‘Having a Feast’. Here, male students in higher levels see an opportunity to “Catch them young”.

The older students act with the knowledge of the naivety that characterizes most of the new female students, who are probably independent for the first time in their life, underage as they usually fall between the ages of 14 – 18 and must navigate these structures alone. So, they get exploited.

Following conversations with the affected female students, they revealed that these men carry out their clandestine activities by simply cloaking them with opportunities to be of assistance to unsuspecting younger female students. It is often helping with admission processes, assisting in navigating the institution, settling down in departments, aiding with tutorials, etc. These men in many instances have also cloaked their perverse intentions in religion. Organizing fellowships to build the spiritual lives of these female students, shortly after proposing a seemingly harmless relationship to the student. Claims of love and devotion are made, but the intention often is sexual in nature.

A weird sense of conquest comes from being able to “Acquire, Use and Dump”, as a celebration of manhood.
This is not however intended to assume everyone who offers to help a new student is predatory in nature, but after speaking to several ladies about their October Rush experiences, these seemed to be the most utilized techniques by older male students to prey on the newly admitted female students. After hearing various ladies share their October Rush experience, one immutable part of every story is the objectification these ladies have encountered while living through this culture. Having to be viewed as objects for satisfying their sexual depravities. Worthy of note is that most of the time, these men, usually 18 years and above, understand that these female students are underaged. However, it appears that this knowledge excites them and further deepens their interests in these women. Understanding that their naivety can easily be exploited and that they would remain quiet because of the blame society would place on them, these men continue with free rein, leaving the women with years’ worth of trauma and emotional or in some cases, physical scars.

Society always either places the blame on the victims, downplay the severity of the problem, or prescribes survival mechanisms for women in scenarios like this. They accuse the exploited women of being “loose” or dumb enough to fall for their antics. This cultural menace that has existed in our higher institutions would never come to an end without first recognizing it as a problem, to begin with. Female freshers would never be safe or free from the reach of perverted older students unless this problem is fully regarded as such. A PROBLEM that needs addressing.

By Moyosoreoluwa A.

Sadly, the phrase, “domestic violence”, has been trending on our timelines for the past few days. Let us take a few minutes to discuss what domestic abuse really entails.

According to the United Nations, Domestic Abuse , also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.

This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound a partner.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels, however women are mostly the victim.

Let us keep in mind that all abuses are not physical. Some abusers take pride in hurting emotionally, hurling abusive words at their partners publicly and privately, reducing their partner’s achievements to nothing and so on. There are various scenarios that we all can paint to figure out ways abusers dominate their victims.

Are you being abused by your partner?
Do you know someone currently going through domestic abuse?

Remember, you did not come to this life to suffer. No one deserves to be abused. Suffering and smiling does not guarantee your place in everlasting life. There is no reward for who suffer pass (don’t be brainwashed). The abuse is not your fault, do not try to blame yourself. You are a survivor.

You may have little control over the actions of others but what your reaction should be solely relies on you.

​◦​Surround yourself with loving people who believe and understand you.
​◦​Have a safe plan. (Involving but not limited to finances.)
​◦​Make the decision to leave and never look back. (No one can force you to leave, it is your decision to make.)
​◦​Take time to heal.

To everyone out there going through a form of abuse or the other, remember that there are people who genuinely love you and your worth is not tied to any person (man or woman).

By Ibukun Busari

It is often said ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ but I bet it is yet to meet ‘the fury of a man rejected’. In life, we make decisions and choices regarding what we think is best for us. We say Yes to some, and No to some which is not a crime but in recent times we have seen that saying No is a crime with consequences.

Rejecting male advances is now a scary thing to do because of the fear of the man’s reaction. It is said that men react to rejection differently and we should be sensitive of their feelings, but does this mean their reaction is a fault of ours and we should bear the ‘consequences’ of their reaction.

According to WHO, about 1 in 3 (30%) women have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime. Any form of violence is a crime and must be punished according to the law.

According to The Observers, a man broke into the home of a 16 year old fine arts student Maryam Rukabi on the 16^th of December, and covered her with acid, burning and disfiguring her face- all because she turned down his marriage proposal. That man is a criminal for firstly initiating marriage with an underage girl, then harming her for refusing his proposal.

According to Jessica Valenti, an Iowa college student Mallie Tibbets was killed by a man she told to leave her alone when he approached her while she was jogging. Another heartbreaking story is that of a Detroit mother of three who was killed because she refused to give a stranger her phone number. A New York woman had her neck slashed when she declined her attacker’s offer for a date

Women are constantly on their toes, scared for their lives because a simple No can lead to death. Most men are of the opinion that they are of the superior gender therefore women are inferior to them and they are entitled to certain privileges which include a Yes from a woman.

Some men who do not physically harm women who reject their advances try to tarnish the reputation of the woman by concocting false narratives about the woman just to ridicule her. Women move with teasers and pepper spray just to defend themselves against any attack, this shows how unsafe the world is for women.

A recent story of an Afghan woman who was harmed by her brother-in-law for refusing to marry him after the demise of her husband is simply madness -scaring the woman for life to ensure she doesn’t have any other suitor is beyond me. No woman is safe- young or old.

It is not physically and mentally healthy to keep walking on eggshells, constant panic because you do not know if the person you say No to will harm you or not. Any form or type of assault and violence against women must STOP.

By Oreoluwa Ojo

Today, I want to address the misconceptions about King Solomon’s ‘marriage’ to 700 wives and affiliation with 300 concubines.
If you are familiar with his story, you will know that Solomon was and is the richest man to walk on the surface of the earth. He was not rich because he made investments and had good returns. He was rich because God blessed him. He did not even ask God for riches, but he got it and more anyways.
A close (or not too close) look at history shows us that women and girls (slaves and the free alike) were regularly given out as tributes to kings and leaders.
To seal a deal, unite kingdoms or generally conduct business, daughters always came in pretty handy. This gross objectification of women is a topic for another day. Today,however, I am channelling my energy to address the popular belief that Solomon was a “bad guy”, or a “champ” or “happening guy” who could “catch” any babe he wanted by just snapping his fingers. This was not so.
A close study of the bible reveals that Solomon’s reign was one of absolute peace. This was not only because his father, David, had fought all the wars there was to fight or signed all the peace treaties there was to sign. The bible records the event of the Queen of Sheba travelling a very long distance just to see the wonder that was Solomon. You really think she was the only one to make such a trip? How many kingdoms do you think were in existence in those days? Remember that the world was really fragmented and not as united as we have it today.
Just imagine the number of kings and queens who would have paid Solomon a tributary visit, bearing their daughters as honoured prizes for the wisest and wealthiest man of the time. The peace he enjoyed during his reign was sealed by his marriages to 700 women and 300 concubines (or at least a huge percentage of that number).
No, this is not the speculation or erratic thoughts of a jobless writer. Do your own research and learn the true facts for yourself.
So, sorry but not so sorry to burst your bubble; Solomon was not the bad guy you think he was.
Stop using his highly misunderstood reputation as an excuse for your cheating escapades.
ACT RIGHT!

By Wisdom Olobayo

“Omolola, omo mi
Oó d’àgbà
Oó d’ògbo
Ìràwo e ò ní kú
Orí e ò ní gbà bòdè
Owó re a mú olá wa
Ésè re á mú e dé ibi àseyorí
Ayé e a rorùn…”

The prayers went on and on as Bolatito watched her baby coo gently in the cradle of her mother’s arms. Her mother seemed to have softened from the unbending traditionalist and verbally aggressive authoritarian parent she grew up knowing. Bolatito smiled wryly, as she remembered one particular day when she was fifteen. The biology teacher had taught them about their reproduction organs in class, but Bolatito couldn’t relate to more than just her vulva. Where was her labia? Where was her clitoris? When she insisted on knowing why she was mutilated, her mother who hated nothing more than to be challenged raised her hands on her that night.

But because it is instilled in us in Africa to never be wronged by our parents, Bolatito, who was now a women’s rights advocate asked her mother to come over from town to see her granddaughter.

“Bola, I forgot some of my tools in town. Can you get me a new razor blade and plenty of cotton wool?”

Bolatito’s entire being revolted.

“At least 200 million girls and women alive today living in 30 countries have undergone FGM” – UNICEF, 2022

Female Genital Mutilation is basically the cutting or circumcision of any part of the female genitalia for non-medical reasons. Why do people practice FGM?

Bolatito shouted loudly, “what for?” Her mother was speechless for a brief moment, trying to get over the ‘little’ shock of her daughter yelling at her. ‘Little’ because she wasn’t exactly expecting a warm smile and a hug. But she was of the opinion that tradition—this tradition in particular, must not die.

“1.8% of the (342) respondents viewed FGM as a means of aiding future childbirth.” – The Annals of Medical and Health Sciences Research, 2011

“FGM is often considered a necessary part of raising a girl, and a way to prepare her for adulthood and marriage.” – WHO

“In many of the countries where FGM is performed, it is a deeply entrenched social norm rooted in gender inequality where violence against girls and women is socially acceptable” – UNICEF

When Bolatito’s mother was 16 and about to be given to her ‘husband’, she was taken to a room and underwent surgery to loosen the part of her vulva that had been stitched up for 16 years. The local anaesthetic concoction was poor. The pain she experienced was excruciating but all she could remember was the smile her groom shot her, finally calling her a “woman”.

“A study of fathers in Egypt showed that they believed uncut women to be promiscuous. FGM was deemed important for good marriage opportunities and to ensure fidelity in marriage. In this respect, FGM helped men maintain polygamy in some communities” – BMC Public Health journal, 2015

Bolatito was therefore “lucky” to not have experienced the kind of vagina sealing procedure her mother had passed through. When she found her way into the university, she joined a human rights group and discovered that there are millions of women world over who have experienced some form of mutilation or the other to their genitals, even in developed countries.

“Girls and women who have undergone FGM live predominately in sub-Saharan Africa and the Arab States, but FGM is also practiced in select countries in Asia, Eastern Europe and Latin America. It is also practiced among migrant populations throughout Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand.” – United Nations Sexual and Reproductive Health Agency (UNFPA)

Bolatito’s mother tried to pacify the situation by suggesting that they perform the tradition rites of mutation on Omolola in a hospital. That was the last thing Bola needed to hear before she made up her mind to send her mother back to town the following day. And all through the night, she clung to her baby ever so tightly.

“Medicalizing the practice (of FGM) does not make it safer, as it still removes and damages healthy and normal tissue and interferes with the natural functions of girls and women’s bodies” – UNICEF

Statistics tell us that 4.6 million girls each year are at risk of FGM by 2030, if the practice continues at current levels. That’s why this article is out here. 4.6 million girls a year going through needless pain and carrying physical and psychological scars for a lifetime is horrifying! We have to keep talking about it online, retweet, repost, sensitise our communities on the dangers of FGM, support social workers and organisations that sensitise and assist communities, sensitise the members of our religious edifices, create a safe environment for the girls and women in our societies to speak up on their experiences and stand up against FGM and lastly, create a learning environment for the boys and men in our societies to learn about the dangers of FGM and how they are very much responsible in the campaign to end FGM.

The fight against FGM is a fight to the uttermost, in order to completely obliterate a gruesome practice that should never have existed in the first place.